27 May 2017 @ 07:11 am
 
Yesterday, somewhere out there in the vastness that is the internet, I published something about my experience with sexual assault. (I'm not linking because the piece contains some references that could make it fairly easy to identify 'real' me, and I don't want to cross the streams.)

The comments. Oh my god, the comments - the victim-blaming, responsibility-shirking, rape-culturey comments.

I shouldn't have read them (first rule of the internet!) but I did, and I am aghast by them.

Which made me come here to thank all of you. Because in this corner of the web you have been such a profoundly supportive, wonderful set of people. You have never blamed me for anything, nor suggested I'm "doing it wrong," and I hadn't - before today - really considered how amazing that is. I know I couldn't have made it through these last few years without the opportunity to tell my story on my blog, and to rejoice in things with you, answer questions you've posed, listen to the wisdom you've offered, and bear witness to our collective struggles. You are incredible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
 
 
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derora[personal profile] derora on May 27th, 2017 02:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you for sharing so openly and eloquently!
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!!
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laurashapiro[personal profile] laurashapiro on May 27th, 2017 03:41 pm (UTC)
How awful that you've received such hate. ):
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:33 pm (UTC)
They were, unwittingly, proving my point about my industry being unwelcoming / broken when it came to supporting victims of sexual assault, over and over again. But yuck!
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laurashapiro[personal profile] laurashapiro on May 28th, 2017 03:33 pm (UTC)
You deserve better. Every survivor deserves better.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 28th, 2017 03:43 pm (UTC)
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thegrrrl2002[personal profile] thegrrrl2002 on May 27th, 2017 03:50 pm (UTC)
I read the article in question and being familiar with your writing thought perhaps you were the author. It was an important piece, and yes, the comments were as awful as I suspected they would be. It's sadly predictable. All the hugs to you, it must have taken a lot of courage to publish it.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:34 pm (UTC)
♥ I love that you suspected it was me. And thank you - the folks who received the piece were wonderfully supportive, so I didn't realize it was going to take bravery until I saw those comments. A pox upon the commenters.
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kouredios: Heart[personal profile] kouredios on May 27th, 2017 04:34 pm (UTC)
All my love. All of it.<3 <3 <3
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:34 pm (UTC)
♥ right back at you!
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lexstar29[personal profile] lexstar29 on May 27th, 2017 05:10 pm (UTC)
My sweet friend, I'm so proud of you for writing your piece, and so sorry that some of the commenters have not had understanding or empathy. I'm glad that you have this space, and so pleased the Universe lead me to your corner of the internet, all those years ago. Your eloquence as you share your experiences is so valuable, as is your kind heart, that is always so brave, even at times when it is somewhat afraid. So thank you, for being exactly who you are, because you are amazing.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you, lovie! I am so glad our paths crossed
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princessofgeeks[personal profile] princessofgeeks on May 27th, 2017 05:11 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:35 pm (UTC)
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Punk: mcshep is love also naps[personal profile] runpunkrun on May 27th, 2017 05:28 pm (UTC)
How awful. I'm glad you have a safe(r) space here with us.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:35 pm (UTC)
Me too! I don't know where I'd be without it.
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sage: bear hug[personal profile] sage on May 27th, 2017 06:39 pm (UTC)
*hugs and hugs and hugs*

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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 27th, 2017 07:35 pm (UTC)
*hugs* you right back!
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saunteringfiend: cogs[personal profile] saunteringfiend on May 27th, 2017 07:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, hell. Really sorry that people are still so shitty - and in this day and age! - but v v glad you still have, and can think of, this as a safe space. You've built a lovely community here, and that's entirely a credit to you as host <3

Be kind to yourself.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 28th, 2017 03:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love!
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sffan: G - Fatcat[personal profile] sffan on May 27th, 2017 09:59 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 28th, 2017 03:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs* right back!
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kass[personal profile] kass on May 28th, 2017 12:09 pm (UTC)
OMFG, I am so sorry that the internet is the internet. Soooooooo sorry. Ugh. People should not be like that. I am incensed on your behalf. Also I hug you up and I love you and you are one of my role models in so many ways, including how bravely and truthfully you have navigated this journey toward wholeness.
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sheafrotherdon[personal profile] sheafrotherdon on May 28th, 2017 03:44 pm (UTC)
♥ thank you, love!
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flaming_muse[personal profile] flaming_muse on May 29th, 2017 09:36 am (UTC)
Love to you. I am so glad you are part of this community here; we learn from you and love you! Unlike much of the internet, where people hide behind relative anonymity to let out their worst selves, at our best here we are aiming for authenticity and understanding. <3
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Noora: Donna/Ten - [hugs][personal profile] adelate on June 1st, 2017 03:07 pm (UTC)
Oh that sounds horrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with comments like that! I just don't understand people sometimes. :/
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